The #1 confidence-killer
Hi everyone! I hope you are feeling a new found sense of energy heading into February.
I know for me, January is always about relaxing after the end of year rush and taking time to recharge.
And definitely living in Seattle, I think we are all ready to come out of hibernation after the rainy season.
February is also a good time to think about the goals you set up for yourself at the beginning of the year. How are you feeling about them?
Maybe you’ve lost a little steam or forgot about them completely. That’s ok!
Often times when we start towards a new goal, something starts to show up that will stop us dead in our tracks.
This is something I personally struggle with still. And why I want to bring awareness to it for other people. Some of you may not even know you are victim to it!
I’m talking about perfectionism.
The thing that kills taking action faster than anything else.
The need for everything to be “perfect” before you go after it. This especially affects those of us that wish to show our creative side to the world.
You will face a lot of internal conflict when you want to put your real self out to the world.
I know for me, perfectionism can hide itself in a multitude of ways. I’m the master of making excuses as to why I need more time for something!
These are common phrases I have said to myself before I am ready to make a change, can you relate to any of these?
“I need more time to research before I decide on this”
“I can’t show my creative side, someone else does it better”
“There’s already so many people doing this, there’s nothing special I can offer”
“I need someone else to validate my ideas before I take action”
“I’d rather just dream about this instead of trying it, it’s safer”
Wow even reading those, I am realizing how much it’s centered around “me.”
It’s like I am my own biggest critic and stopping myself from trying something new.
But it’s a common thing most of us face. Perfectionism hides itself in the ego as well. Protecting yourself from any possibility of embarrassment or rejection.
It’s an innate fear that we all have, the idea that we’d be rejected for showing our true selves or talent to the world.
Perfection is a way for the ego to validate it’s innermost fears. Pretty powerful huh?
Perfectionism can also show up as feelings of laziness or avoidance.
You have a goal in mind but you’d rather just sit around and create worst-case scenarios in your head.
This is a common way we can just blame our inaction on being lazy or unmotivated, then we won’t have to actually try for anything and risk failing.
Aside from creativity, it can also show up in other ways throughout life.
Waiting for the perfect person to spend your life with.
Waiting for the perfect job to fall into your lap.
Waiting for the perfect body before being confident.
Waiting for the perfect conditions to start a business.
The list can go on and on! But the one thing that strikes me even when I read those back is what does perfect even mean?
There’s no one “perfect” version of anything out there. If we wait our entire lives to find this elusive perfection then we will be waiting forever.
Ok so we got the “bad” part out of the way and how perfectionism can show up in life.
Now let’s talk about how we can move past it.
How can we continue to live the best possible life we can even if fear shows up?
The number one way to go after goals, live happily, and manifest what we want is to..
Take action regardless of fear.
That’s really it. That simple thought process is the one to adopt if we want to persevere ahead.
It requires confidence in your path, patience, and open mindedness.
When a kid is first learning to walk or ride a bike, what happens?
Do they just assume it isn’t for them after falling once? Or do they try again regardless of falling until it becomes second nature?
I think we all know the answer to that one. The magic comes from actually taking the action and learning what works and what doesn’t.
Taking action also builds your confidence because you are proving to yourself you can follow through.
Because if we stay lost in our head, worrying about all the things that could go wrong, we could be waiting a lifetime.
This is something I have to tell myself all the time.
Keep showing up, believe in yourself, learn from your mistakes and eventually you’ll get to where you’re going.
So as we head into this new week I want to challenge you on this same topic.
Where in your life can you show up for yourself? Where can you take action on something you’ve been avoiding?
Any progress you make is better than where you were.
Now it’s your turn, let me know where you want to take more action!
Talk to you soon,
Annie
