How to always be the bigger person
When I first started my quest for happiness and freedom, I realized this truth very early on.That was in order for me to feel truly happy and accepting of my life, I would have to be the bigger person. I would have to own my truth in any and all situations for total mental clarity.For so long I would shy away when I really wanted to speak up, or not set any boundaries and feel totally burned out after spending time with people.This lead me to be a huge people pleaser that shrunk in the presence of others.But if I learned anything at all, it is this.
People pleasing is harmful and will rob you of your own joy, creativity, and freedom.
Since I was struggling with debilitating anxiety, I would believe those thoughts of my unworthiness and succumb to being a "yes" person all the time.I believed that I couldn't voice my true opinion or be the first person to speak up. I thought I wasn't deserving of that right.In fact I would avoid a lot of more difficult talks with people and just brush aside any issues I had in order to keep pleasing everyone around me.But that is what anxiety does, it keeps you stuck inside a fallacy of yourself. You have those deep seeded beliefs that you are inherently wrong so you continue to shy away.Deep down I knew that I had to start speaking up and not be afraid to show up with people. I had to find my voice and make it known.It was scary at first, to think that people would start to notice me. To think that I finally had to stick up for myself and what I wanted.
But I knew that in order to create my dream life and find freedom I had to be the bigger person in any and all situations.
A major theme in all the self development work I was consuming, I kept finding this truth out.Being happy meant being fully myself and not letting anyone else's limiting beliefs bring me down.I also realized that I am an intensely empathetic person, I pick up on other people's energy very suddenly. I often feel drained after a long day of interaction with others.If someone is stressed out, I feel it, along with anger, sadness, fear, judgment. I feel it all as if it were my own.I think a lot of people that struggle with anxiety also feel this way. Their system is highly reactive and receptive so they absorb everything around them.Although it may sound like you can never interact with anyone again, it is quite the opposite.Once you learn to protect yourself and your energy first and fill your own cup up, you can then feel completely energized and loving to those around you.I am here to help you learn how to show up as the bigger person to free yourself of any bad energy.These 3 tactics were what I had to really practice before I could own my truth. They were a necessary part in drastically reducing my anxiety and moving more towards happiness.So what does being the bigger person actually look like?
YOU WILL FORGIVE FIRST
Holding on to any hatred, anger, jealousy, judgment is a very powerful energy within the body. Even though you are triggered by a person or situation, these emotions do more damage.These cause a fearful state within the body, which just leads to more anxiety, fear, and depression.No matter what someone has done to you, you are giving them power by holding these things against them.And the honest truth is that whatever someone triggers in us, it is just a big mirror to what we are still dealing with ourselves.So by not forgiving someone, you are not forgiving yourself. When you aren't fully accepting someone else, you aren't fully accepting yourself.Forgiving does not mean letting people walk all over you or use you, it's actually quite the opposite.Forgiving means you are owning up to your part in any situation and ridding the person of their power over you.Forgive, move on, and make more space for your own happiness.YOU WILL SET BOUNDARIES FIRSTAlong with forgiving first, you will be the person to set some very crucial boundaries.This is something I struggled with for years and stayed in toxic friendships and relationships for longer than I should have.Boundaries are what allow us to take care of our self first before anyone else.I want you to stop and think for a second, are there any people currently in your life that you feel worse after you spend time with them?Do you feel completely drained, exhausted, or even sad?If yes, this is absolutely the first place to instate boundaries. Lessen the time you spend with them, if at all.This applies to family, coworkers, old friends, anyone that you need space from.Being honest up front about what you need (or don't need) from them will clear the way for you to start bringing in some more peace for yourself.YOU WILL BE HONEST FIRSTThis is probably the most important point of all, to be happy you have to be honest in all situations.About what you need from others, what you need from yourself, and if you are really loving your life.The body and mind know when we aren't fully living to our potential, so even if we say we want one thing but don't believe it, we won't ever find fulfillment.Honesty is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, it may cost us a relationship or may hurt someone but it's the fastest road to self acceptance.The hardest person for me to be honest with first in my journey, was myself.I had to admit that I wasn't taking care of myself, I wasn't happy and I was not honoring who I really was.I think this is what scares people the most is when they finally look inside and accept what isn't working.But I promise there is a light at the end of that tunnel and a life that you can only dream about now.Honesty leads to acceptance, acceptance to truth, truth to happiness.A theme I put throughout all my writing comes down to one simple fact, being happy and fully accepting of yourself is a superpower.You will attract people and situations in your life you never thought possible.So start showing up, getting honest, and being the bigger person.Where in your life can you start?