Self development is a lifelong commitment

While I think it is great that modern society has become increasingly interested in self development, I am also seeing a not so beneficial side effect of that trend.That is treating self development as one more thing to "get done" or "check off the list".The notion that if you just read this one book or go to therapy for a bit, then you've done your part.I think it's all too common in society now to want things quick and that we deserve some sort of resolution if we put any amount of effort into anything.I admit I treated my journey like this too. I set off to heal my anxiety and I wanted the one quick and easy solution.I didn't want to really have to do the hard work of bringing up everything that was holding me back to work through it.I thought, okay I am taking care of myself, eating right and going to bed early and meditating, why am I not feeling better now?People even ask me today, well what did you do to heal your anxiety?And I can never answer that question.I didn't do just one thing, and the truth is I haven't healed it.Anxiety will always be a part of my life, but I now know how to manage it in a healthy way.New experiences in work, life, love- they will always trigger some initial anxiety. Just when I thought I had taken 10 steps back in healing myself, I realized one thing.That I have to commit to myself, to my development, and showing up as the best version of me everyday.This is not easy work or else everyone would be doing it!You will have to admit to yourself when you're wrong, when you're backtracking, or when you feel like blaming everyone else.But I can tell you with confidence that this work is lifelong. If you're not growing, you're dying. And your work to be your best self never ends, and you are the only person in charge of you.If you are ready to do this work, I promise you will feel lighter, happier, and freer everyday.Here are 4 commitments you can make to yourself now, and always come back to when life gets tough.Commit to your highest selfThis requires more of a spiritual mindset, but this was the most powerful aspect of my healing.In order to be your true self, you have to commit to your highest self. Who is that?The version of you that wants the best for you and everyone else, the version that loves people without judgement or jealousy, the version that accepts life's ups and downs with ease.Everyone has this part of them, some more louder than others. But the more you peel back your insecurities, fears, doubts, the closer you get to this version of you.If you really get quiet you can hear this part of you, ready to give you guidance when you need it.The reason it's so important to commit to the highest version of you, is because you will need them when life gets tough again.The next big loss in your life will hurt greatly, but your higher self will be there to see you through the other end of it.Continually examine yourselfTaking a lifelong commitment such as this one, means that you will be continually assessing things. As with any successful relationship, it takes work.One tell tale sign that I need to slow down is when I start to feel physically beat down. Fatigue I just can't shake, eating healthy doesn't seem enjoyable, my mind isn't as clear as it normally is.This is always a red flag for me to stop and take a deeper look. This almost always means I'm not taking care of another aspect of myself.I'm not taking the time for self care, I'm avoiding a tough conversation, I'm letting stress take over.When you let life run on autopilot (which most of us do) is when this is prone to happen.So after committing to the higher version of yourself, commit to continuous evaluations. Make sure you are feeling happy, light, excited, and free any day that you can.Be honest about what's not workingAlong with always checking in with yourself, you have to be honest about what isn't working.This is the hardest step for people, no one wants to give up a comfort or face something they are avoiding.But the truth is, the body will let you know when you need to change something. Getting sick after too many late nights at work is no coincidence.Do boundaries need to be set with someone? Do you need to give up responsibilities at work? Do you need to take the pressure off yourself?This is also why I am a big proponent of therapy, because sometimes we have huge blocks standing in our way that we just can't (or wont) acknowledge without the help of someone else.Even a trusted friend can be a great resource in this realm, list out all areas of your life (love, work, health, passions) and get really honest about the state of each.Be curious and never stop learningOne thing that I really want to advocate is to make this journey fun. Self development doesn't have to feel so heavy and intense, in fact that is what deters most people.Yes, there will be an initial period of digging up all your old shit and letting it go.But once you get past that, you can really get curious about how to be your best.Take a 30,000 foot view of your life and really see whats going on.What excites you? What do you want to create? What do you want your future self to say?Big questions like these can make you feel instantly better and help steer your current life to something more exciting.Lifelong curiosity will be a byproduct of lifelong commitment.Really, I think everyone's most important trait should be curiosity.To know themselves deeper, to always be growing, to learn how to support others, and to learn how to live a life they love.