Rebirth Through Change: Finding Happiness in Starting Over.

The last several months have been full of introspection for me. And with the changing of seasons, it feels like the perfect time for my next era to unfold. My own rebirth of finding my true self and purpose. 

Over the last year, I have been building a coaching business and helping women increase their confidence and find love. While I enjoyed working with some fantastic clients, something didn’t feel right to me.

See I love talking about dating and love, it’s what changed my own life completely! But there’s so much more I also love to share my insight on. And I found that in the process of trying to label myself as a dating coach, I was losing sight of why I started in the first place.

When I first started to put myself out there and share my experiences in self-growth, I discovered my immense love for writing. I never considered myself a writer or ever thought I was good at it. I just figured I would try out writing and start to share articles as a way to help others on their journey.

I quickly realized that writing was not only something that came naturally to me but a way to spread my learnings far and wide. People were responding positively to my words and it felt great to express myself. I started my own website and even wrote and shared 2 ebooks. 

And while the writing was going great and I was building a small following, my self-doubt started to creep in. I was spending too much time looking at what everyone else was doing on the internet. I thought I had to have a big following or be making tons of money from my art or else I wasn’t good enough. The world of Internet marketing can be a very dangerous place, tread lightly! Not everything is as it seems. 

So in an effort to prove myself to people, I quickly tried to become a marketer instead of a writer. I wanted people to pay me so I could believe that my efforts were not in vain. I labeled myself as a coach and used my writing as a way to attract clients. I was following in the footsteps of everyone else instead of trusting my own journey, the start of where it all went wrong.

Now I will say that I absolutely believe in coaching and the lessons I can help guide others on. In fact, I still want to offer coaching in some sort, it will just not be my main focus. But I also believe the world of online coaching is full of false promises, terrible marketing practices, and one big ego contest.

I realized that my efforts to be a coach and make money were going against everything I am about and why I started sharing my writing in the first place. I wanted to bring realness to the internet, not shy away from it.

I admit that in the last couple of months, I wanted to just ignore everything and hope it would go away. I felt ashamed and guilty for starting something and no longer believing in it. Was I taking the easy way out? Was everything I did up until that point a lie?

Another thing about the world of online coaching and marketing is that it makes you think something is wrong with you if you aren’t successful. That you need to change your mindset and beliefs and everything will fall into place. There’s no mention that it just isn’t for everybody no matter how much you try to change your inner beliefs. 

I was torn because I fully believe in self-development and have even worked with some amazing coaches, but I also felt like it was all wrong for me. I still wanted to build a following and help others on this journey of life, but how to do it?

Well after an honest conversation with my husband, I realized I could no longer run from this anymore and the clarity finally came. My husband reminded me that my writing is what started it all and I was finding success in it. He reminded me that I don’t have to burn it all down, that I could return to what made me happy and feel alive. Writing was my first love of self-expression. 

After that realization, I felt like I finally could relax my shoulders and take a deep breath. I had been carrying around this burden and it only got heavier the more I tried to run from it. And that’s when the biggest realization came to me about a happy life.

You only need to follow your soul for a happy life. 

Following your soul means that you choose what makes you happy, regardless of what people think. It means that you might have to make a tough decision even though you know it’s right. Following your soul means you might have to burn everything down and start over in order to find happiness. 

Since I made the decision to follow my soul and start over, I have felt true happiness and excitement. I can’t wait to get back to writing about anything and everything that I wish to share. I am always on a quest to find more meaning and more happiness and that’s exactly what my articles will reflect.

And for the first time in a while, I am going to let life fully lead the way and let go of control. If I have learned anything from my biggest breakthroughs thus far, is that I am not in control of anything. Where this path will take me I have no idea but I can’t wait to find out. I am going to be fully me, the real me, and inspire others to do the same. 

If you made it through this full article, thank you. Thank you for being a part of this ride and reading my words. I have endless lessons and insight to express and I can’t wait to bring you on this path. So here’s to living a life full of purpose and finding meaning in the mundane, and here’s to continuing this journey we call life. The best is yet to come.