Are You Giving Attention or Intention to Your Goals?

Dec 6

There are thousands, if not millions, of articles about how to accomplish your goals. Every so-called expert has an opinion of what it really takes to get what you desire.

After years of learning and implementing ways to achieve my dreams, I can confidently say it really comes down to one thing.

Are you giving attention or intention to your goals? Let me explain the difference.

Years ago I was at a place in my life where I desired a loving relationship. I avoided romantic relationships all my life because I didn’t believe I was desirable or capable of being in love because of my own insecurities.

But as a determined single girl in my late 20s, I was tired of wishing for it to happen. I didn’t want to watch my life pass by as I just let my insecurities win. I knew I had to get out of my own way and learn to let love in.

So I had this big dream of falling in love and being in a meaningful relationship. I would see happy couples walk by my hand in hand and I would feel a pang of envy that I didn’t have that, too.

But I also felt a glimmer of hope because I saw that it was possible for people to fall in love and I was no different. I was no less deserving of falling in love than the person walking by me.

From that desire, I dove head-first into the world of self-development and goal-setting. I was learning everything I possibly could about attracting a partner and opening myself to love.

I was doing all the affirmations, journal prompts, visualizations, and manifestations I could get my hands on. I was like a sponge for these teachings and I couldn’t get enough of them.

When I first learned about manifestation I was so excited because I thought I could just sit on my couch doing visualizations and my prince charming would come knocking on my door. I thought if I just set my mind towards my desire, my soulmate would drop out of the sky.

But after months of picturing it, it still wasn’t happening. Yes, I started to feel better about myself and my ability to be in a committed relationship, but I still wasn’t meeting anyone. Why wasn’t this manifestation thing not working for me?

This is what I mean by giving your goals your attention, rather than intention. Attention is just when you dream about it, intentions are when you actually take action toward it.

Now that I am writing this article many years later and in a happy and loving relationship with my soulmate, I realize that my dream didn’t happen until I gave it my intention.

I recently wrote an article about what mainstream manifestation gets wrong and it’s this fact I am sharing with you today. Manifestation tells us that we can think about whatever we want and then it suddenly appears, but that’s not the full story.

Thinking about your goals is half of the equation, taking the action is what makes them a reality.

So when I was sitting there just dreaming about the relationship, nothing was happening. It wasn’t until I pushed myself outside my comfort zone with intention, that everything changed.

Taking intentional action toward my dream relationship looked like this:

Setting up a dating profile and being an active user.
Actually going on dates instead of endless messaging back and forth.
Being vulnerable and letting people know the real me.
Getting clear about what I valued in a romantic partner.
Continuing to date potential partners that carried these values and saying no to those that didn’t.
Committing to my dream no matter what and realizing that rejection is only redirection.
Learning the (sometimes painful) lessons from heartbreak and still believing that my soulmate was out there.
Following that random thought that told me to try a new dating app which is where I met my now husband.

Being intentional toward my goal meant that I kept taking small actions in the direction of my desires. It meant actually getting off my couch and going on dates.

Even if the date turned out to be a flop or I ended up being ghosted, I knew those were just temporary setbacks and not an endpoint.

I kept the faith and knew that my person was out there. I became confident in myself and wasn’t afraid to show who I was, quirks and all.

Intention for me looked like ending a relationship that deep down I knew didn’t align with my values. As painful as it was, it opened the door to endless possibilities and meeting my soulmate a year later.

So once I learned how manifestation and goal setting actually works, I made a promise to teach other people as well that taking action is just as important. I want everyone to experience the same magic I continue to feel as I make my dreams a reality.

I want you to think about that big goal or desire you have, are you giving it attention or intention?

Are you dreaming about it or actually making it a reality? What’s a small action you can take toward your goal today?

Maybe it’s hitting publish on that blog post.

Maybe it’s setting up a dating profile and seeing who sparks your interest.

Maybe it’s finally going to that class you’ve been hesitant to sign up for.

Maybe it’s applying for that new job you’ve been eyeing.

Whatever the goal is, by taking intentional and sometimes uncomfortable action, it will become a reality faster than you can imagine.