Getting "unstuck", part II: identifying what you want

Welcome back to the "Unstuck" series! In part 1 you learned about some ways you may feel stuck in your life, specifically in career, relationships, and self-image.

Anything from feeling unfilled at work to desiring a meaningful relationship can leave a feeling that something is missing.

And that feeling of emptiness can compound into a lack of forward momentum by not knowing where to start towards the goal.

It can end up being one big circle, first by feeling stuck by your circumstance, but also stuck in moving forward!

But like I've mentioned before, this feeling is actually really exciting. It is a sign of big movement and growth towards the next phase of life.

And that is where I come in! I am here to help you identify what you want in life and the steps to get you there.

I act as co-creator to your dream life, which is actually much more attainable than you think!

When I work with people, I talk about the three big "pillars" of life: career, relationships, and self image.

Consider these the foundations of a fulfilling, exciting, and full life.

So after identifying where you may feel stuck, let's dive in to how you get there. First, let's lay out what you are creating and what is important to you.

Since most of us don't even consider worthy of a life so fulfilling, we don't even take time to think about what that means for us!

But that is what motivated me to help out other people, I created the life I always wanted without the tools I am providing you. I want people to know it's within their reach.

Let's dissect the three main pillars and brainstorm what it means for you.

Grab a journal and a pen, and set aside 15-20 minutes of quiet writing time. Let's go!

CAREER

1. On your paper, draw a line down a middle and write "working" and "not working" on either side.
2. Take 5 minutes and write out everything about your job that is working for you, and not. This can apply to anything: the work, people, environment, compensation, etc.
3. Go back and pick 2-3 words or phrases from each section that really resonate with you. This could be positive things like "I love the people", "I like the work I do" to negative "There's no future career path", "I don't believe in the company's mission"
4. Write down these phrases as things that will work and not work for you in your future career and hang onto them. We will expand on these later when we go to map everything out!

RELATIONSHIPS

1. When I talk about relationships I mean both romantic and platonic. For the sake of this exercise, pick one you want to focus on and label the sides of the paper "important" and "not for me".
2. Take 5 minutes to identify the things you want in a relationship and/or partner. The "important" column is the things that are crucial for your wellbeing and happiness such as trust, honesty, and communication. "Not for me" are the things that will not work for you, maybe it is flakiness, jealousy, trust issues, etc.
3. Go back through your list and again identify those top 5 things that are most important, from both lists. These are going to be your guiding lights in identifying meaningful relationships.
4. Extra credit! Take an additional 5 minutes and write down everything about your ideal relationship: where do you spend time, what do you say to each other, what are your shared interests, how do you support each other. Remember this is for both romantic and platonic!

SELF-IMAGE

1. This "pillar" of life is going to be the most important as you navigate creating your dreams. The relationship you have to yourself is priceless. Label the sides of the paper: "How I view myself" and "How I want to be viewed"
2. Take 10 minutes this time, first start with the "how I view myself" column, list out everything, positive and negative, you think about you. I challenge you to focus more on personality traits and interests and less on your physical being.
3. Move on to the "how I want to be viewed" and list out all the ways you would like to view, and portray, yourself to the outside world. Again focusing on the internal traits, examples such as open-mindedness, inclusiveness, determination, etc.
4. Go back through both lists and circle the top 5 that mean the most to you. These are the words that really resonate and portray the kind of person you want to be. Write these words down, these are going to be important as we move forward!

And there you have it! Three exercises to get you really thinking about where you want your life to go, and how to get "unstuck"!

The good thing about these exercises is that you can keep coming back to them anytime you feel stagnant. I also like to do these at the beginning of a new month, and year, to direct my actions.

I find that when I just let my life on auto-pilot I lose track of what I am looking to create and who I want to be.

In the third part of this series I am going to outline how to gain momentum in each of these areas.

We will be using the answers from the exercise you just did so hang onto those!

As always, let me know how I can best serve you!

Annie