If you Want to Love, You have to Die.

Love is something that all humans desire. Even though most may not admit it, we all want someone to love us at the end of the day. It’s in our human nature and the reason why humans are even here on this planet. 

Yet so many people feel confused or even discouraged by the idea of love. People go from falling in love too quickly to then hating the concept altogether when their heart gets broken. If so many of us desire that deep-level love, why is it mystery to most?

I admit that for the majority of my life, I avoided love and relationships. I grew up thinking I wasn’t good enough as I am and that I had to change my appearance in order to find love. That I had to love 15 pounds before I was desirable.

I just assumed that no one would want to be with me and therefore I had to continue to “work” on myself. In reality, I was using this as a way to hide from any possibility of love. I was so scared of being vulnerable, that is was easier for me to hide then actually put myself out there.

I was in this vicious loop of trying every new diet, reading every self-help book, and taking multiple courses at once, all in the name of bettering myself. But what I was really doing was using all that learning as an easy way to protect myself from rejection.

If I didn’t put myself out there and go on dates, well then I could never get rejected! It all seemed so easy. Until one day it wasn’t. The dieting and the books weren’t exciting anymore. Self-love and personal improvement felt like a chore more than anything. I was so used to crossing off my to-do list that I was forgetting how to live.

And unfortunately I see this with too many people. Modern marketing has made us all believe that we should be a constant work-in-progress. That once you finish up with one coach or course, you need to move onto the next one. In reality this is just a way for people to keep making money, not actually helping the people that are paying them.

I made a promise to myself that as a coach, my only job is to help you break all the walls down that are hiding your greatness from the world. That I am here to show you everything you are searching for is already inside you. That true love is possible for you, and I’ll show you how to get there.

Once I learned this, that the love is already inside me, my life hit a turning point. I realized I didn’t have to hide behind diet plans or the latest book. But instead I could uncover the greatness of my true self and show it to the world. That my authenticity would be my guiding light towards the love and life I craved.

So I did just that, I worked on my own self image and confidence until I believed in myself with every fiber of my being. I didn’t need a book or a course to tell me I was desirable. All I needed was validation from the most important person in my life, ME. I could decide right then and there that I was worthy of a great love, no more self-improvement needed.

It wasn’t that I reached some level of perfection and that I followed every rule perfectly, it was actually the opposite. I realized that I was worthy of love simple because I am a human on this planet. I was spending so much time in my surface level appearance, that I was ignoring my soul completely. Once I let my soul lead the way, everything changed.

Of course I still experienced tough times and even a major heartbreak. But it was in those tough times that I realized I had the capacity for big love. If I could experience deep hurt, I could experience deep love. I started to make decisions from my heart and not my head. I believe that my life would work out and love would come along when I least expected it.

And you know what? It did. I found my soulmate and thank the Universe everyday for it. My life has expanded beyond my wildest dreams because of the love that entered my life. And now I get to love my soulmate and myself on equal levels. Love has been the catalyst for the dream life I am living today, the same life I envisioned for myself all those years ago.

Now that I am a coach and helping other amazing humans find this level of love, I realized that so many people are missing a crucial step in their journey to love. It’s something that is rarely talked about but I am here to bring light to it today. The fact is…

In order to love, you have to die.

Of course I do not mean you have to leave this planet entirely for you to find love. Unfortunately none of us know what happens after death, but I do know a bit about what happens while you’re still Earthside.

What I mean is that parts of you will have to die away in order for love to enter your life. Love will require a different version of you, one that exists outside of your current comfort zone. If you are truly ready for deep love and a soulmate connection, you will have to say goodbye to parts of you. Parts that may have been with you since birth.

You will have to let those parts of you die. The parts that…

Are scared of being vulnerable.

Would rather be shut off from the world.

Believe you will never find love so why even try.

Think you need to change your physical appearance before you can love.

Keep attracting the same unavailable partners.

Are still hung up on the “one that got away”.

Take pride in doing everything yourself and hide behind “independence”.

Love to complain that dating is hard without ever going on dates.

Settle for the first person that gives you attention.

Ignore gut instincts and red flags.

These are the parts that have to die. They have to die because they have to make way for new parts of you. Parts that fully believe love is possible for you. Parts that build up your confidence and self worth so you go into the dating world knowing full well what you deserve.

In order to love, you have to birth new parts of you. Parts that…

Know with every fiber of your being that love is possible.

Trust in the divine timing of your life and don’t try to rush fate.

Have an intimate connection with your intuition and follow its amazing guidance.

Actively let go and move on from old lovers that were never right for you.

Have fun putting yourself out there and meeting potential lovers.

Let romantic partners plan and do fun things for you knowing you don’t need to be in control.

Attract new types of partners, ones that are committed to you.

Is always practicing vulnerability and sharing your personal truth.

See, love will require a new version of you. Not one that you learn in a book, but one that has been there all along. The challenge is to find how to break down all the walls that currently exist within you. Because once you learn to let your old protection mechanisms die and new supporting beliefs be born, love will find its way to you.