Why Sensitivity is your Best Kept Secret.
Being sensitive is truly a superpower.
For so long we have lived in a society that values toughness, grit, masculinity, and endless hard work. So many of us live in the masculine because we think that is the only way to achieve our goals.
When I was growing up, this was the only message I heard and saw on TV. That I had to work endless hours to get that next promotion. Or that I had to be the most extroverted person in order to get noticed in school. Society quickly gave favor to the loudest person in the room and forgot about everyone else.
But what society views as toughness actually means that most of us are shutting off our emotions, struggling with anxiety, and never feeling happy. Our obsession with achieving has lead us all to lose connection to who we really are.
When you spend all your time in the masculine way of living, you aren’t stopping to appreciate everything you already have. The masculine wants more accolades while the feminine wants to enjoy life and express emotions.
At the core, all humans are emotional beings. That is the beauty of being human. We get to experience life through the feelings and emotions that we experience. We get to receive and give love to others, the best emotion in the world. It’s hard to express these feelings when you’re constantly working and achieving.
As I came into my own after college, I was burnt out and stressed from trying to keep up with everyone. I wanted to spend more time in nature and see the world. I didn’t just want to sit behind a desk and watch the years pass by. I knew deep down that there had to be another way to live. One of my late-night searches led me to a huge discovery.
When I realized that I am a highly sensitive person, it felt like a blessing and a curse all at once. It was a blessing because it finally explained why I felt different than other people. It shed light onto why I didn’t have as much energy and needed more downtime than those around me. But it also felt like a curse because society values people that are the exact opposite of sensitive.
This is something I struggled with for a long time, accepting the fact that I was sensitive. This is where a lot of my anxiety came from because I would shut off every emotion that came to me. I wanted to be able to work late, party, and chase the promotions just like everyone else. My mind kept pushing even when my body was telling me it couldn’t keep up.
In fact I couldn't even identify my emotions day to day! I just chose to live in a constant anxious state. I, like many people, was scared to actually feel the emotion, like it would be too much for me to handle. Or that I would feel a certain emotion, like loneliness or anger, and stay there forever.
So instead of honoring my sensitive side, I pretended to live as someone completely opposite. The girl that was always "on", ready to party, crack jokes, and stay up late making sure everyone had fun.
While that was fun for everyone around me, it made me feel miserable. I didn't even know who I was, I felt very disconnected from myself. I stayed in the this cycle for years, coming up with ways to suppress my emotions.
Dieting and binging, partying too much, negative self-talk, endless hours of researching ways to be “better”. I'm sure you can identify with some of these methods of suppressing emotions. The majority of us are not taught how to identify and embrace them.
After learning that I was highly sensitive, I decided to learn more about how I can live in tune with my true nature. I started to read every self-help book I could get my hands on. I spent weekends at home and saying no to invitations. I wanted to get to know the real me for the first time in my life. I decided right then and there that I would honor my sensitivity and inspire others to do the same.
Thankfully, I am noticing that society is starting to shift and more people are placing importance in slowing down and enjoying life. This lifestyle is what inspired me to start writing and sharing my lessons with others. That when you start to embrace your emotional side, your entire life will open up.
Before we get into how you can start tapping into your sensitivity, let’s identify some ways that you may be ignoring your feelings:
dieting and/or over-eating
exercising way too much
not taking downtime or rest
overspending money/ not being able to hang onto money
staying in toxic friendships and relationships
binge drinking
constant negative self-talk and body-shaming
judging others
playing the victim: blaming everyone else but you for your circumstances
overworking
constantly on the go, never being able to sit with yourself
always being available for other people
Identify any of these in yourself? The main theme between all these above is that they are distractions to further disconnect you from yourself. These methods are all dependent on external gratification, acceptance, and stimulation.
What holds most people back from feeling their emotions is a fear that they won't be able to handle it. That a feeling will be too great and it will be impossible to bounce back from. But I am here to tell you that you are much stronger than you think. The truth is that your body will never betray you.
Your body will never give you an emotion you can't handle, you can trust whatever comes up.
Emotions exist for a reason and are a powerful teacher. So when you feel things such as loneliness, sadness, or even anger and frustration, sit with it. Let the emotion come to you and learn its lesson. This powerful article will tell you how to move through anxiety and fear.
Maybe you feel loneliness, instead of trying to run from it, why not discover where you are disconnected from yourself? Or if you’re feeling anger, it could be because there’s a deeper suppressed belief that you haven’t acknowledged. Emotions are not something to be feared, they are actually your greatest teachers.
You will soon realize that you can handle whatever life throws at you. Now for those of us that are naturally sensitive, please recognize it as a gift. A gift to experience life to its fullest, to find joy in the little things, to care deeper for the ones you love.
This also means that you may feel the tougher emotions more deeply. That’;s okay! Life comes in waves and the good times always come back again. When you start to realize that emotions are your greatest teacher, everything changes. I am here to remind you of one thing.
Sensitivity is a superpower: when you let emotions enhance your life, not imprison you, you are free to experience your time on Earth to the fullest.
And if you aren't naturally sensitive or connected to yourself, you can get there! I went from suppressing everything that came up to now being able to experience and identify all range of emotions with open arms.
And let me tell you, my experience and appreciation of life has grown exponentially. I can walk around confidently knowing that I can handle anything, no belief or feeling has power over me.
Some small ways to start feeling your emotions are just sitting quietly and letting them come up. Turn off the distractions and make a vow that you want to get to know yourself. The emotions may feel intense at first, but I promise you can handle them. And when something makes you really happy, feel it! Smile big, bask in the moment, tell everyone you know, hug someone you love.
Once you start feeling everything, this is your first step to creating your dream life.You can identify what feels really good to you, what lights you up, and move more towards that everyday. When somethings feels wrong, you can learn in the moment, and move more towards feeling good again.
Your emotions will become your compass to everything you desire.
So don't be afraid to go inward and build that connection to yourself. Once you truly know yourself you will become powerful and experience life to the fullest. Lean into your sensitive side and become unstoppable.
