A love letter to the “single friend”

I recently attended a wedding of my husband’s friend and am still smiling from all the fun we had. Dancing, drinking champagne, meeting new friends, and laughing endlessly were the themes of the weekend. It felt so good to connect with people after so much isolation!

One of the main reasons I had so much fun was because I got to enjoy it with my husband. Even though we didn’t have a wedding (we got married in a hospital, click here to read about that experience!) it was fun to be around all the love and happiness together.

But it was not all that long ago that I didn’t really enjoy going to weddings that much. Why? Because I was sick of being the “single friend".” The friend that never had a plus one or someone to slow dance with.

For a long time I was the friend that showed up to weddings and other events by myself. I never had a relationship or even casually dated anyone until my mid 20’s. I was happy to be there to support my friend but deep down I was sad I didn’t have someone to share the experience with.

And maybe you feel this way, too. You are sick of opening Facebook only to see another proposal announcement. You dread another vacation where you are the 5th wheel. You hate having to respond to yet another wedding RSVP with just you attending.

If you feel this way, I understand. I felt this way for years before my dream of love happened. When I was in the thick of it, I used to think that life would be this way forever. That I would always be the solo guest at events for the rest of my life. If you are the “single friend” this post is for you.

See now that I am in a loving and committed relationship, I look back on my single days with such love. I would never trade those days, weeks, and years for anything. Those days of loneliness and doubt shaped who I am today. If I did not spend all those years alone, I would not be in the loving marriage I am today.

So, my dear single friend, I am speaking right to you. I am here to tell you that the love you desire is possible. The man that can’t wait to show you off at the next wedding is out there. I know it feels impossible right now, but I promise you it will happen.

From one former single friend to another, I am rooting for you! I know you feel hopeless right now but just think, you could be reading this a year from now in a happy and committed relationship. It is all possible for you.

I am a firm believer that the majority of people should be single in their 20s. That decade of life is such a pivotal and transformative time that requires immense growth from each and every one of us. I am so thankful for my single years and the woman I became. My hope is that you read this article and realize just how important this time of time is for you (whether you are in your 20s or not).

Let’s break down the three main reasons why being the single friend is actually an amazing thing. This is the first thing I tell my clients when they first come to me and are desiring love. I like to highlight just how lucky they are right now. Here’s why:

You are not behind in life.

No, being single does not mean you are behind in life. With seven billion people on this planet, it is impossible that we all follow the same timeline. The same applies for love.

While it may seem like everyone on Facebook is declaring their love, getting married, and having babies, that is only a snapshot to real life. Love can (and does) happen at any age.

I am a believer in diving timing, meaning there is the right time for life events for each person, and it looks different for every one. That is the beauty of life, there is an air of mystery in which we have no control over.

So lean back and relax, you are exactly where you need to be. You could meet the love of your life tomorrow or a year from now. Let life surprise you. And if you are ready to open yourself to love, schedule a free call with me and learn more about coaching to get you there!

You are in a magical time of life.

Yep, you are in such an important and magical time in life. You are getting to know yourself on a deep level and realizing what you want. You are becoming your own source of happiness, a trait that is highly underrated.

When I was in my single days I remember thinking how lucky I was. I got to do whatever I wanted with no guilt. I could go out with friends or stay in and read. I could sign up for a course to learn something new. I could go on a two hour walk and stop to lay in a park.

Now of course I can (and still) do these things in a relationship but it is just different when you are completely on your own. Life is made up of endless possibilities, waiting for you to pursue what your heart desires.

I remember one day I had this epiphany where I thought “My life won’t be like this forever, I am going to look back on these days and be so thankful.” And you know what? That is exactly how I feel.

My single days were filled with growth, lessons, and transformation. I became my own best friend and created a life I loved. So when I finally did meet my soulmate, he was the cherry on top of a life I already loved. Bask in these days and find out the life you desire and the person you want to be. When your love does show up in your life, you will be thankful you did.

You don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.

Chances are you single because you do not settle for just anyone. Maybe you have been in relationships, some that you thought would be forever. Or maybe you have casually dated but no one has caught your interest.

This is because you know the type of love you deserve and you do not settle for less than that. You don’t give into the fear and anxiety that everyone else has love in your life except you. You are single because you know that an unfulfilling relationship is worse than being alone.

Before I met my husband I was in two short term relationships. One of them I thought was for sure the one and I created this fairy tale romance in my head. But I quickly realized that this person was not right for me and I had to end my fairy tale, it was painful at the time.

But deep down I knew that a start of relationship should not be filled with anxiety. My intuition was telling me that something was not right and I had to listen to it. I was refusing to settle for a relationship with someone that couldn’t love me back. I knew I deserved a great love and that my person was out there.

I would never take that heartbreak back for anything. That heartbreak was the first time in my life that I chose me and my happiness. I decided that I would follow this dream I had no matter what. I would build a life I love and trust that my person would come along. And a year after that, he did.

So, single friend, I am rooting for you. I am talking to you from the other side, showing you it’s possible. There is a reason you are single right now and I implore you to discover why. The dream you have of being in love is not just a fantasy, it is proof that it’s on the way.

So keep searching, keep finding yourself, and follow the clues to love. Do what makes you happy and expand your life in multiple ways. Meet new friends, take a class, say yes to a blind date. Being open to the mystery of life and let the Universe surprise you. Love is out there for you, I promise.

And if you desire guidance on how to attract love into your life, that is exactly what I do in my coaching program. I take you through 4 transformative steps to grow your confidence and open yourself to love. Schedule your call today to find out more.

Don’t give up on love, I am cheering you on!

Annie