5 hard truths you must accept before finding love
The journey to finding love can be a roller coaster.
A ride filled with highs and lows. Lessons to learn with some heartbreak along the way.
But the beautiful thing about the journey to finding love is that you find yourself in the process.
In fact, that’s the basis of the coaching I do with my clients.
Before we even get into what a client is looking for in a partner, we set up a foundation of self love and acceptance.
A foundation that carries them throughout life, no matter what happens.
Because the (tough-love) truth is that in order for you to find love, you must find love within yourself first.
You must break down all the walls that are blocking love from entering your life.
Love is out there for every single person on this planet, if that’s what they desire.
Love is out there for you, too. Even if right now you don’t believe it.
This is my life’s mission to guide all the women desiring love to their soulmate.
And it start’s with being your own soulmate, first.
So love has no choice but to enter your life effortlessly.
When I started my journey to finding authentic love, I knew the first step was I had to get real with myself.
I had to face some hard truths I was previously ignoring. But I knew if I could accept these things, I would find the love I was craving.
So if you’re ready for authentic love with a committed partner, these questions are your starting point.
As you work your way through these 5 truths ask yourself, how can I apply this to my own journey? Have I accepted this truth? What do I still need to admit to myself?
Grab your journal, light a candle, and carve out some much needed you-time. Get ready to bust down those walls and make way for more love.
The 5 Truths About Love
Love is a mirror.
All the people that show up in your life serve as a mirror. And this is especially true in love and relationships.
The beliefs you carry about love and potential partners will show up in the people you are dating.
This is why you keep attracting the same type of man or your relationships keep following the same patterns.
Let’s say that deep down you believe that all men will cheat and leave you at some point. Guess what type of men show up in your life?
Or maybe you really believe that long-lasting relationships never work because your parents got divorced.
It won’t be surprising that your relationships tend to end after 6 months or even a couple years.
Deep down you don’t believe it’s possible for you so your relationships are mirroring back your deep-held beliefs.
I know this can be a hard truth to accept but the beauty of this is that you have the power to change it.
Everyday is a new opportunity for new beliefs and truths. Every date is a new opportunity to change the experience for yourself.
When you start to believe that love is possible and a committed man is out there for you, you don’t accept anything less than that.
You start to make new choices and stop chasing men that aren’t available.
You start to believe in your self-worth and date men that reflect your worthiness.
Take some time today and list out all the beliefs you have about love and start to write a new story for yourself.
You are incredibly powerful and finding authentic love is within your reach.
If you want to fast track your results, book your free discovery call and I will help you rewrite your belief system and find love for good.
There is no perfect person.
This is a hard truth that keep most women stuck in their dating journey.
With dating apps and limited attention spans these days, it’s easier than ever for women to dismiss a potential partner for any reason.
Now let me preface this truth by saying that it is possible for you to find a man that shares the values you desire.
It is possible to find a man that checks most of your boxes and treats you amazingly.
But the truth is that you are blocking these type of men from showing up in your life because you are waiting for someone that doesn’t exist.
I’ve heard so many women complain that there are no good men left yet they immediately say no to anyone trying to date them.
Or they only focus on the one thing a man did that they didn’t like.
The truth you must accept is that there is no perfect person. Your knight in shining armor is not going to rescue you (and I believe in fairy tales!)
But waiting for a perfect man is a lie that will keep you unlucky in love.
I go through a very detailed process of listing out desired qualities with my clients but I can walk you through a simplified version now.
Start by listing out your top 10 desired qualities in a man, the ones that really matter to you in your life partner.
Now go back through your list and circle your top 3 traits. I call these your “non-negotiables” and you do not budge on them.
Let’s say that the top 3 traits you want in a man are kindness, adventurous, and spiritual. These are the traits that must be in your life partner.
So a man shows up and lives by these traits but maybe he doesn’t have the career you envisioned, or he’s not the age you pictured yourself with.
Instead of immediately friend-zoning him I want to challenge you to take a leap and see how the relationship progresses.
More often than not, the person you end up with may appear completely different than what you imagined. But let yourself be surprised.
Write out your top 3 traits and be open to what kind of men show up in your life. Drop the idea of perfection and be open to new surprises.
You never know who is out there for you!
Stop focusing only on physical features.
Nothing will keep you stuck in a pattern of short-term flings like solely focusing on what your date looks like.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard women say that they are looking for a man that is “over 6 feet tall.” When I ask what other traits matter to them they stare at me blankly.
Ladies, stop focusing just on what your date looks like! This may have worked in high school but you aren’t sixteen years old anymore.
If you truly want deep love with a committed partner, you need to date like a grown up.
By focusing just on what a man looks like you are doing two things that are blocking you from love.
First you are telling the Universe that this is the only thing that matters so therefore you will continue to meet good-looking men that you probably don’t have much in common with.
Second you are setting yourself up for a short-term fling because you cannot solely bond on how you both look. The excitement will fade fast.
(Now if you are looking for a short-term fling, then keep doing this! But I know my readers are looking for something much more.)
Now I get it, I used to do this too. I was hyper focused on what the man looked like over what kind of person he was. No wonder my relationships didn’t last past a couple of months.
What I realized as I went along my journey is that attraction grows between two people that have similar values.
Looks fade, values do not. Of course you have to be physically attracted to your partner and that matters a lot, but it should not be the basis of your relationship.
Next time you are dealing with a difficult situation in life ask yourself this: do you want a committed man that values you and is there for you in an instant, or do you want a man that you like to look at but can’t even rely on to pick up your phone calls?
I’ll let you be the judge of that one!
Love does not complete you.
Accepting this truth is going to require you to reprogram your mind. Stop treating your life like a romantic comedy.
How many times have we seen a movie where woman that hates her life because she is single then a man suddenly shows up and she’s happy?
This is not how real love works. Love is not there to complete your life.
Authentic love fits into your already full life. Your happiness does not depend on it.
If you expect your man to be your entire world, you are setting yourself up for codependency and eventual heartbreak. Not to mention how unfair it is to expect this from your partner.
Your partner cannot be your entertainment, validation, source of happiness, accountability, soulmate, date planner, and perfect ideal of a man all at once.
The truth is that only you are in charge of creating a full life for yourself. One that you cannot wait to share with someone you love.
It wasn’t until I focused on my own happiness and creating a life I loved that my soulmate appeared effortlessly.
I had my own goals, dreams, creative outlets, and hobbies before he entered. I knew how to build up my own happiness and not expect it from him.
Of course he made me happy (and still does!) but he’s not responsible for being my entire world.
Even now that I am married I still hold true to this. I have my own goals and dreams, he has his, and we have the ones we create together.
We are two complete people building an amazing future together.
Where in your life are you still holding back or waiting for a man to do?
Book that trip, enroll in that class, go to that meet-up.
Fill up your cup with happiness so that when your man enters your life you can just enjoy him for who he is.
You’re not unlucky in love.
Listen, you amazing woman reading this right now, you are not unlucky in love.
No matter how many times you’ve been ghosted.
No matter how many heartbreaks you’ve been through.
No matter how many of your friends have found their person.
No matter how many failed dates you’ve agreed to go on.
You are not unlucky in love. In fact you are an incredibly powerful creator.
Capable of amazing things, capable of finding your soulmate.
But it’s time to get real with yourself. How many of the above truths have you ignored in your dating journey?
How many red flags have you brushed off, even when your gut is telling you?
How many times have you not spoken up or shown your true self?
How many times have you accepted bad behavior from men?
How many times have you not shared how you really feel because you want to be the “chill girl” that is unaffected?
It’s time to stop doing this! It’s time to stand up for yourself and what you want. It’s time to realize how special and worthy you are.
Once you believe in your worth, the men you date will mirror it back to you.
Once you stop ignoring red flags and stop staying in relationships you know won’t last, you make way for high-quality men to enter your life.
Ladies, it’s time to get out of your own way and only accept the type of love you know you deserve.
Now I want to know, which of the 5 truths do you need to admit to yourself?
If you’re ready to stop the guessing game and go through this process with a coach by your side, book your free 30 minute discovery call today.
You never know what magic is waiting for you on the other side.
Happy Dating,
Annie
