Connect To Yourself
Looking back to when I first set out to heal my anxiety, I realize now, although I didn’t at the time, that connection to myself was the most important step. It was what launched my deep dive into self development and self awareness.And to this day, it continues to be the most meaningful part of my self-care.While I recognize it’s importance, connection to self is the hardest thing to do. For all of us.We aren’t taught about self care in school. We aren’t taught that it’s okay to ask for help or admit flaws.We live in a world that promotes disconnection, in the way we market products, the media we consume, the way we interact with technology.Let’s take a look at the way products are marketed to us. The lower the self-esteem you have, the more eager you are to buy the thing. This meal plan will finally help you lose weight, this book will save your failing relationship, this makeup will help you look like a celebrity.It all is based on the fact that we are growing increasingly desperate to change something about ourself, endlessly comparing your life to someone online.But how often have you bought something only to quickly declare it doesn’t work and go back to looking for the next miracle?Now I am someone that is all about consuming positive self-help materials to help you improve yourself. It is something I will be doing for the rest of my life.But it has to come from a place of confidence and peace about who you are. If you are coming from a place of desperation, fear, and loathing, nothing will ever work.No book, diet, coach, or website will ever be the thing you are looking for.You will be in a vicious cycle of researching and hopelessness.Trust me, I have been there many times. I spent years coming home from work and researching hours on end for things I thought I was lacking. How to clear my skin, how to be better at relationships, or to lose 10 pounds, I have read it all.Aside from the fact that I would be completely drained mentally from all this information, I blamed myself for thinking I was doing it wrong.This worked for her, why not me? Ok this next book is really going to be what fixes me. If I could just have more will power than I would succeed this time.Time to go back to the computer, back to research, back to square one, eventually to nowhere.What I was really doing was perpetuating the idea that the core of who I am wasn’t good enough. I was telling my subconscious that I needed fixing.My self-limiting belief of inadequacy was creating the reality of needing an answer.So, my message for you is this, stop the endless searching and comparing yourself to others. Start from square one and connect to yourself before anything else.When you know yourself, your dreams, your strengths, you will be incredibly powerful. You will feel adequate just by being who you are.It’s a superpower that few people know about.When you do come to that place of connection, you will be able to make smart decisions of what products and information to consume. You won’t be desperate for answers, rather you will be learning how to strengthen an already unshakeable soul.So let’s identify some ways you can really get to know yourself and be armed with more confidence and awareness. This doesn’t mean you will be the most “popular” or recognized, but you will create a life that is uniquely for you.HONOR YOUR EMOTIONSHere’s a little tough love, but what are you doing to run away from your emotions? Partying too much, eating mindlessly, shopping, zoning out in front of the tv?When you are overindulging or avoiding things, you are really avoiding something that needs your attention.An emotion is trying to make its presence known and move through you.What few people realize is when you actually stop to acknowledge and feel your feelings, they move through you faster. But avoiding them at all costs just promotes disconnection to yourself.How you can really start to know and connect to your inner being is to feel everything. Admit when your tired, lonely, sad, angry, excited, happy. Write it down, call a friend, tell your pet!By honoring your emotions you are starting to connect to who you are and realize how you can find more of the good feelings. Knowing how you feel is pretty damn powerful.ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SHADOW SIDEThis is a tough one to accept, but in order for you to know yourself, you have to accept your shadow side.We all have them. I do, your friends do, the people you look up to as well.What is a shadow side? It’s the side of you that you aren’t as proud of. The part of you that can feel insecure, or the part of you that can get easily overwhelmed, or jealous in certain situations.None of us are perfect, in fact if you strive for perfection you will never reach it.For years I would hide away for fear of people seeing the real me. But what was I hiding? The fact that I was human with flaws like everyone else?The day I decided to own my whole self was when I really felt at peace and free. I know I have a shadow side but I also acknowledge all the strengths and gifts I have to share, fostering true connection to who I am.IDENTIFY WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOUThe most important step in creating a connection to your soul is being able to acknowledge what is important to you.Without any semblance of what makes you happy, you are really just living your life on autopilot.The best part of this is that it will mean something unique to you. What hobbies you have, what friends you keep, what books you like, what food you make, the sky is the limit.And once you know what is important to you, you make time for them, and less time for what isn’t. You will start to create the life you have always wanted and spend more time happy and excited than not.Now these are three steps just to get you started in knowing yourself more and building that inner connection.Being able to go forth in life while knowing yourself will foster confidence, increase happiness, and quiet those fears inside your head.You will know what you want in life and won’t stop until you get it.So tell me, what is something you can do today to connect to yourself?